Letting the Cocoon Go
In the wake of all of the amazing actions happening in the world of John F. Barnes Myofascial Release, the poetry, the music, the books and presentations and the amazing results with clients – my first reaction was to quick find a big, deep hole and jump in it and hide! Well, first was anger, then fear, then resignation, then the hole and hiding. Feeling this, my eyes looked in a direction I had been avoiding . . .the cocoon in my garden.
The cocoon I accidentally on purpose brought home from Sedona in October still has not opened. I feel a sense of responsibility for the death of the butterfly inside, even though I thought it was a dead cocoon souvenir when I put it in my backpack. I was not thinking about the life inside. I was thinking: cool souvenir from Sedona to bring back with me. Now, I will see this cocoon as a reminder that no matter how much I want to hold onto the feeling of Sedona, it is best to let go of what is not mine to possess.
I wanted so badly for that butterfly to emerge out of that cocoon. I was so sure it represented a blossoming in me and that when it didn’t come out, it meant I had failed. Letting go of the need to see that butterfly emerge; feeling shame for what I did; mourning the life that never happened; I see now it is a reflection of my actions towards myself and then towards others. I make assumptions about how I should be. I become possessive of those ideals. I embody those ideals and let them run my life. It is a prison. Nothing can escape and blossom from a prison with ideals for bars. Every time I let these ideals drive my actions, I am left in my own cocoon, never allowing the butterfly to fly. When I don’t allow myself out of my cocoon, how can I encourage others, my family and friends, to fly?
John Barnes is right. There is a huge difference between being driven versus drive. I am starting to understand that. When no longer driven by life, we can utilize our own inner drive to live – how healthy is that!
Here’s to letting go of the cocoon and owning our inner drive.